Re-Focus on the Issue

Maintain the relationship and try to resolve the issue (e.g.”What is a win-win answer for both of us?”). Summarize how far you’ve got. Review common grounds and agreements. Focus is on being partners, solving the problem. Intimidation is not the issue. Your deal is. No matter how abrasive your opponent is, you must restate exactly what was said to you without a nasty tone of voice. No matter how long it takes, keep bringing the discussion back to the real concerns: price, services, time periods and so on. Divide the issue into parts. Address a less difficult aspect when stuck. Invite trading (“If you will”). Explore best and worst alternatives to an acceptable agreement. At this point you may add “I apologize for the delay. I understand your frustration and anger. Can we put that aside and discuss settlement of our other issues?” (Refocus on real issues, legitimize the perspective of opponent.)